My girlfriend Miep and I have been together for two years. She is a really wonderful woman, very funny and educated. She is a pure European.

Anyway, she has been basically giving me an ultimatum lately that she wants something more, and that is marriage and children.

I love her and everything, plus she is European. But, she is so ******* short it drives me insane! 5′1! Every time I am around her, I feel like I am on the set of a Nickelodeon show. It’s ridiculous! I keep having visions of Willy Wonka & the chocolate factory every morning when I wake up next to that.

So, I’ve decided to break it off. Since I don’t like confrontation, I think I’m going to fake my death. She is gone to visit relatives next week. I’ve already put in for a new name, and have looked at moving. I have found a new job in another state.

Hypothetically, can I hire an actor to play a police officer to "break the bad news" to her?

Any advise would be appreciated.

Cheers